long time no write. well, lot of things is going on in my mind but only one person has occupied most of it. I got a proposal from a boy few days back and obviously I said no. but after that day he is on my mind like literally everytime. he is sweet, caring and also cute. His caring nature and cute behavior is just pulling me towards him. I can't resist it. I want to just shout yes and kiss him but everytime I think about saying yes a lot of questions starts popping in my mind and I'm afraid of getting hurt. I do accept that I'm extremely attracted to him or should I say I started to like him but I just can't bring myself to accept him. he is very suspicious and I sometimes I feel like he is lying to me. I remember when he proposed me he said falled in love with me at first sight but I'm pretty sure he never gave attention to me and I never found him staring at me or trying to talk to me. I mean come on, every person stares at their crush or atleast gave her a glance occasionally it's a natural human tendency, but he didn't even did that. The day he proposed me was the first day we properly talked so how can he say that he liked me for a long time. lots of questions like this comes in my mind but I just defend him but I think I'm not defending him I'm just too scared too accept he was lying to me or maybe I'm just overthinking.