I cleaned our room for hours, though being a new house it was already clean. I had this habit of cleaning stuff when I was depressed.
Yes, I am depressed.
That’s because my husband is having an affair. Just kidding. He is my fake husband if that term even exists. And he married me to have an affair!
Can it get anymore dramatic?
Oh yes. I am his best friend who has been in love with him for fifteen years when I should be using this time to get over him.
I patted the sofa, dusted the shelves and put my books in a row. I am a bibliophile and a strong one at that. Sherlock Holmes and Augustus Dupin are by far my most favourite ones, me being a fan of mystery thrillers. I am such an addict of criminal profiling that I actually have list and screenshots of wanted criminals or serial killers on my phone.
Serial killings were always my favourite ones, as they have something In common and it always piqued my curiosity as to why there are still serial killers like Jack the Ripper or Stripper on lease. I guess not
everything can be put under control.
I shook my head, prying off invisible dust and sat on the sofa to eat my breakfast, which I should have eaten a long time ago. I tried to munch on it but I lost my appetite at the thought of Edward spending his nights off with Lara.
What do you expect, Emily? He had already been with her many times without you knowing. It makes no difference.
Yes. It doesn't make a difference. I will die a virgin who had her first kiss stolen by her first love in an inevitable circumstances.
My phone rang and I looked at the profile. It was Mia. I picked it up and shouting filled my ears.
"He locked me in his room, Emily! The fucking Killer of The Venice confined me in this horrible apartment!” Mia shouted.
"Okay, Mia.Tell me in detail -"
"He called me saying he was sick and I, as a kind person I am, went to help him-"
"Mia!” I warned her.
"Okay. I knew he was lying about his illness to push me in the swimming pool when I would go to meet him because he knows I hate cold water,” she was breathing heavily by now.
“And so you took revenge?” I enquired.
“Of course I did!”
“And you…” I trailed off.
“And so I might have poured ice water over his sleeping ass and he might have locked me in rage,” she said, sounding defeated.
I shook my head. "Wait. I will come over." She didn’t say anything and I figured she had ended the call.
I told Miranda that I wouldn’t be home for some time and to take care of herself as well as the house. I quickly escaped the house and looked at my car. It was a beautiful, red car and my baby. I rushed over to it and towards my dear friend.
Mia and Jake live in the same neighbourhood; the studied in same Mary High School And went to the same college as me and Edward, I don't know what makes them so hostile. I always shipped them like some crazy anime girl, always tried to make Jake see Mia in a new light, but nothing worked.
Jake had a lot of girlfriends and every time he introduced them to us, Mia would not talk to him for weeks. This was her way of declaring war. I mean how much dense could he be to not know her feelings.
After reaching there, I called Jake because I didn't know his security passcode. At first, he was unwilling but when I talked about breaking his X-done, he came grudgingly. As soon as he opened the door, Mia kicked him hard on the balls.
I guess I am not becoming aunt anytime soon. Oh. I am a family freak!
I patted Jake on the back to relieve his pain.
"You son of a gun, how dare you to lock me in your jail? I was so sca-angry, even the electricity was cut off. Did you think you would make it alive after this stunt? Mia said, poking him in his chest.
"Oh please, you poured ice water-"
"I did it because I knew you were playing a prank on-"
"Oh, you fortuneteller, don't go on thinking things on your own,” he said, grabbing her finger, and twisting it around.
"Ouch! You wait-"
Mia lunged at him. Wow. Like climbed over his head and soon they were on the ground, pulling each other’s hair off. I hid my face from people's view, mouthing "I don't know them", as all of this was happening on the street.
Yes. On the street.
"Hey, guys. Do you think we can talk this one out?” I said, kinda already knowing the answer.
"No!" they shouted in unison, continuing their fight.
"Oww, you smacked my chest!" Mia accused, smacking Jake on the forehead, covering her chest.
"What? That's why it was soft. But hey! This is the last thing I would ever do to you,” he said, lifting Mia by her waist and putting her over his shoulder. She shrieked out loud.
"Let's continue it inside. We’ve got some unwanted audience,” he said it so smoothly, that I couldn't even believe he was taking her so romantic style in his house just to continue fighting.
I shook my head to pry off vulgar scenes and followed them inside. I had enough with these two. If Mia was not going to do something, I swear I would. I mean, I can't think of any other beside Mia's side. Any person has to be an alien to not like her.
She is the best to be around, always giving everyone comfort and courage and kindness, but she kinda becomes hostile with Jake. I think she is not the type to express her feelings correctly.
"Okay, guys. Before you start ripping each other throat's off, I want to make an announcement,” I said, earning their attention.
"Make it worth postponing her death,” Jake said angrily.
"Mia is getting married,” I announced, patting my shoulder mentally for such a clever plan.
The reaction I got was so hilarious that I was sure it could make me laugh a million ways if that was even possible. Jake's eyes were wide, his mouth hung open, his eyebrows squinted in confusion and then he looked at Mia, who had the same reaction as him.
Mia mouthed to me ‘I am getting married?’
‘Yes.’ I mouthed back.
"Oh,” Jake responded.
"Why didn't you tell me, Chipmunk? I can't believe-" Jake started.
"Don't worry. I am as shocked as you,” Mia said, eyeing me, urging me to explain. I just asked her to play with me.
‘What?!’ she mouthed. I ignored her.
"Yes. Mia is getting married. Now if you will excuse us, we have a lot of preparations to do. She still has to get her manicure and her hair layered. She wouldn't want to look ugly on her BIG DAY, right Mia?” I smiled sweetly at her, warning in my eyes.
“We have a lot to catch up to,” I continued, “your wax, and yes your bikini wax. My mom says your marriage life depends on these things,” I ended, pointing at her breasts, which she covered defensively.
I grabbed her hand, literally dragging her outside when I felt something resisting and I turned around to see Jake holding Mia's wrist. I quirked my eyebrows.
"Is it right? Are you really-" Jake said, trying to form words.
"I don't know,” Mia whispered to herself.
"Yes. We are sorry we didn't tell you earlier. Now if you must excuse us,” I said, pulling Jake's hand from Mia rather harshly, making it more effective. Jake looked like a child deprived of his favourite candy. Aww. I wanted to pinch his cheeks.
"Seeing the circumstances, I must ask you not to touch Mia inappropriately now when she is out of the league,” I said impassively and pulled Mia out with me, dumping her in my car.
Such a dramatic exit. Pheww. I made it out safely. I thought I would fall on the carpet or something.
I put my seat belt on and started the car.
Okay. Here we go.
For her worst emotional banter ever...
"Are you crazy? Why would I get married? This is... this is the most ridiculous and I have to say,” she paused to think, “wonderful, clean lie I have ever heard come of out of your mouth,” she shouted in my ear.
"Calm down Mia, I am doing all this for you."
"Should I do a happy dance Now? Emily, he is going to hate me when he knows the truth. I wanted to make myself available to him and you did -"
"He didn't make any moves when you were available. I guess he would when you're not, trust me, Mia, this actually works. I am fed up with you two acting immature all the time,” I said and shook my head. “You are 25 for caterpillar's sake and so is he. Grow up. You caught the bouquet at my wedding so it's time for you to get married," I said, glaring at her.
"But Emily, that's-
"That's right. Everything is fair in love in war,” I said, winking at her.
I reached home by seven. Throwing my bag on the sofa, I rushed into the kitchen to make dinner. Miranda urged me to let her help me so I let her cut the vegetables. I baked some bread and made chicken stew, mixing ingredients for Edward's favourite cheesecake from one hand.
All was ready by 9. He still wasn't home. I knew he was with Lara, he had already told me not to wait but how can I not worry when he didn't even message me the whole day.
I went upstairs to change into comfortable shorts. My mother packed me a whole bunch of lingerie to wear on my wedding night and for other subsequent nights, but not a spare decent shirt to wear.
Was she thinking of me roaming naked in the house for the rest of my life?
Edward didn't even spare me some affectionate glance, I was sure my mom would be so disappointed once she knows the truth. Changing into Edward's borrowed clothes, I rushed downstairs and switched on the TV.
I dialled his number but he wasn't responding. It was almost 12.
I heard a car screeching and then crushing of pebbles. Must be Edward. I rushed to open the door, only to stop dead on my tracks after hearing someone giggling.
Peeking from the window, I saw Edward and Lara, engaged in an intimate kiss. Lara's mouth was sealed with Edward's, her arms around his neck, his hands grazing her smooth curves. She moaned.
Quite loud. Even I could hear that.
I quickly rushed back into watching TV. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door.
I was scared. More than scared actually.
Would I be able to greet them without breaking down? I nodded to myself. I can do that. Just bear with me for some time, my heart, I patted my chest.
I opened the door, my lips curling into a bright smile, the sound of my broken heart dancing on my nerves.
"Lara, it's you! Wow! You still are so beautiful and are glowing like the sun! Long time no see, huh?" Before she could say anything, I pulled her inside and hugged her.
The hug was an excuse to hide my face. My feelings. My tears betrayed me and I couldn't even do anything about them.
"Emily, are you okay?”
No, I am not.
"Oh yes, never better. Actually, I fell from stairs, my jaw hurts badly and so-"
"My God, Emi. You didn't hurt yourself badly, did you? I told you-"Edward exclaimed, his arms leaving Lara and checking my limbs and face.
I raised my hand, stopping him."I am fine, Edward. It's just -"
"No, it isn't fine. I forbid you from falling or anything. You never listen-"
"Eddie, I am really fine. Now if you can stop giving me attention, we have a guest,” I said, removing his hands from my face.
"What would you like, Lara? Tea, coffee?” I said, tying my hair in a high bun. She answered by saying she would like to have coffee.
"Actually she is staying the night. I asked her to," Edward said, trying to gauge my reaction. I looked at him and then at Lara. Then:
I smiled. Brightly. Once again. It hurt like bitch, to be honest. But, I couldn't do anything about it.
As always, I was hopeless. I had always been whenever it came to him. Or his happiness, which was never me. Or with me, to begin with.
"That's perfect! I was going to ask her myself. Lara, make yourself at home. Here is your coffee and snacks. I made you two dinner as well. When you feel like eating, tell me, I would warm the stew. For now, I am going upstairs. Mia wants to talk about some stuff. You know, all this girl stuff. Call me if you need me,” I blabbered and rushed into stairs.
I am okay. I anticipated it. I wouldn’t cry. That's a stupid girl thing. I thought to myself, climbing stairs to my room.
Yes. I would sleep in another room today.