I woke up abruptly to the harsh tango dancing of my ridiculous alarm clock that is a shame to human habit of sleeping soundly when tired as hell. Stretching my abnormal female arms and legs, I toppled down the bed like a kangaroo to rush into the washroom for my urgent blast of the bladder which actually had no shame and manners for being the bladder of a female all this time!
I was brushing my teeth, more like scrubbing them with a dog soap when I looked at the prominent red and blue bruise normal people naturally preferred to call a ‘hickey’ at the crook of my neck in my reflection in the mirror. Immediately, I turned around, my cheeks flaming red to remember events of that night, those unforgettable moments in the life of a female, who spends her first that night with her husband.
That husband whom she loved with all her heart!
And that husband who had crawled in his hiding too ashamed to even come and face her after he showed her passion and love all night!
Why don't I drop my career as a doctor and start trying it, in being a drama queen?
Running down fast, I busied myself in making food and snacks, my hands actually paining from waking up all night and getting only an hour of sleep.
"Emily, dear. You're up so early. Why are you stressing yourself so much? I'm sure Edward will be fine. He's just busy in his office work dear. A young man like him needs to put his skills in managing his company, so don't worry much!"
Well. I was worried but not for him.
Packing all the stuff in a container, I rushed upwards to dress in something visual and wearable.
Gulping down one large glass of water and popping some grapes into my mouth as a light breakfast, I grabbed my purse and opened the door of my car hurriedly. I made sure to cover my neck to avoid any embarrassment and absurd notions, wearing large baggy pants to hide any signs of biting and raw passion which still persisted even after all these days.
I looked at the road, my fingers shaking from the fear of driving after a long time when I wasn't even good at driving in the first place. Nevertheless, I took a deep long breath to calm my raging nerves.
Thinking all is well that ends well!
Wait, where the hell does this quote come from? Because my ending was as poor and sad as the ending of the Titanic which never got its happiness in spite of its lovers being hopelessly in love with each other.
It'd been four days and Edward still hadn't come home. Normally, I would've barged into his office or wherever he is to pull him by his ears and scold him for making me worry over him so much.
But now the circumstances were different. Really different.
We crossed that imaginary line which always existed proudly between us, too proud and determined to budge even an inch no matter what happened in our twenty years of friendship, and which disappeared so urgently and hurriedly the moment Edward touched me and my soul, showering me with his kisses and passion.
Sometimes I wonder if I really had any type of control in myself. Was I a complete fool when I considered myself experienced in controlling myself or my feelings?
No. That control was never there. It has always been my delusion and my wild illogical theories to convince myself. The reason I stayed in my place, seeing him happy with someone else and not making any move though how much I wanted him to notice and love me as he did to Lara, was because he never took any step towards me that way.
Time moved for both of us and though I was happy, as his friend, in his happiness in somebody else, at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder that maybe... that maybe really I had been wrong all along in loving him. Maybe I hadn't loved him better.
Maybe I was not such a good match for him, the one whom he imagined his bright future with or the one he wished to link arms with and walk in front of the world with a proud smile on his beautiful face.
Maybe he's too ashamed of me to even tell it to me that he can't be friends with me anymore!
But if he would just tell me I am plain, abnormal, stubborn or an irritating tomboy, too simple for a big, rich and successful person like him, I would understand for sure. I swear I would leave him the day he tells me to. Though it may be hard for me to do it instantly I would try to leave him.
Maybe forever. If my heart possesses some magic ability to forget him like some bad past, then, of course, I am all ready!
Or maybe if he becomes too rude with me and hits me with a hockey stick or something, then I can always leave him!
I just needed some reason to leave him, one logical reason which had nothing to do with my emotional being and which would convince my heart to leave him behind.
If him loving someone else and that too being his first love, not to mention me witnessing his loving smooches with her was not a solid and convincing reason for me to leave him behind, then I was afraid I would never be able to do it.
Because I was afraid I had come too far in my unrequited love for him, too far that I couldn't even go back and too far that I was scared if I moved an inch without him in my life, I would be doing wrong to both of us!
Doing wrong to our persistent friendship which is the only thing holding us together!
But who was I even convincing? Huh? My heart?
Well. Maybe I don't deserve him. Or his love.
I never doubted myself or my family status before in judging my relationships with anyone, especially males, but now that I was thinking it now, I couldn't help but wonder that we two lived in a separate world.
Totally different worlds!
Though we lived together, joked and laughed together, ate and smiled together, cried and snorted together, fell and rose together, these factors could never change the fact that I never belonged to his world.
His world. Which consisted solely and purely of luxury, richness, prosperity and wealth. He interacted with people I heard names of or had seen them on my television which was outdated compared to his shining LEDs a long time ago.
He ate food comprising of various delicacies and best culinary around the world where I could get happy only by watching videos of them on my phone. His world was like a fairy tale every girl dreams to live in and when the lucky girl like me had gotten a chance to delve into it, I couldn't help but feel the urge to run away.
Run away fast and hard. From him and everything that had to do with him in my life!
Sometimes I also felt I never should've met him. Then, I would've married happily to some guy who maybe would've loved me like a woman. Like his woman!
Pulling out my mind of some logical stuff for the first time, I concentrated on my driving if I really wanted to live through this day alive.
Parking the car safely and without causing an accident of others or myself, I reached the office of Jones multinational by standing in the lift for ten minutes, because it was on the fifty-first floor and I almost cursed the generations of that cruel grasshopper lady who dared to stop me from going to meet my Edward.
"I am sorry, ma’am but our sir is not ready to take any visitors for now!"
Our sir? Visitors?
Who the hell does she think she is?
I looked at her name tag. Hah!
"Miss Vermicelli, I'm not just any visitor if you must know-"
"It's Miss Vermion to you, Ma’am!" she added bitterly, calling me 'ma’am' as if she would choke me by my throat!
In normal circumstances, I would have run like a horse laughing hysterically for confusing her name with some noddles but still, humour needs timing and I didn't have time!
"Call your dear sir to tell him I'm here!" I barked, spreading my arms to point at myself proudly to remind her I am much worthy than her noodle-like name!
I really didn't want to use my name on her. I never liked showing off or making people stagger away from me just because I had the richest surname attached to my poor name!
The lady stared at me for some time before picking up her telephone and shouted "Security! Mad alert! Now!"
Frantically, I ran to her side, kicking the phone from her ears, which fell on the wooden polished floor with a loud crash before throwing my purse on the nearby sofa to pick all of that phone parts again and dusting it with my fingers.
"Here. Miss Vermicel-Vermion. Your phone." I slid her the half dangling modern piece of telephone to her side, and she flinched to the corner, cowering away in fear.
She trailed her hand down to the nearby desk, below my eye level, thinking I wouldn't be able to see her hands dialling another phone seated on it.
I tapped the cabin in annoyance.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, miss!"
She stopped, her eyes showing surprise disguised with fear and shock.
I raised my hand in defence. "I'm not some terrorist so unless you have this certain urge to have your own personal phone split into two parts, I would advise you to let me in for God's sake! Let me in! I beg you. Let me in. Please!" I banged on her counter, loudly with my legs.
She dialled another company's phone again, looking at my banging legs all this time. "Sir, there is some mad lady asking... rather ungracefully to request your presence! Yes, sir! Sir? Yes. I tried telling her that you're not ready to receive just anyone.” she glared at me before continuing "Yes, sir? Her name? Well-" she lowers the phone, "What's your name?"
"Emily Willows," I offered quickly only to hear the complete damn silence from the other side of the phone when she told him my name.
"Well, Sir? Are you there?"
No, he had suddenly started to run a marathon in the Himalayas, you idiot!
Grabbing the phone from her ears rather roughly, I shoved it over my ears.
"Edward! You're not gonna run away from me forever, you know better than that! Get your fucking ass home right now otherwise, I'm gonna burn your future with my own hands! You listen, you excuse of a man, I'm meeting you anyhow!"
Besides the fact that he was very much a man without being an excuse of it, I think I spoke better for his own good!
I waited for him to reply. That did come too fast.
But not in words.
Well, I knew all types of silence!
I tapped my foot on the floor to stay patient.
I tapped my fingers on the cabin.
I gritted my teeth soundly maybe to scare him on the phone.
Okay. He isn't going to answer, that stony-faced cow jerk!
I hung up the phone myself, shoving the woman out of my way to his office who wasn't leaving my arm as if stopping me from murdering her dear sir!
Well. That's a pretty good idea except for this idea can wait for a little to come to the action!
I had to admit the woman was pretty loyal to her company but the poor dear couldn't even wail her legs when I dumped her on the sofa and tied her pretty slim hands and body with a table cloth which proved to be quite a tedious task.
"Yes yes. I would say hello to him for you!"
I opened the door to his office quickly, but not before shouting it to the tied woman my greatest achievement in life!
"By the way, it's Mrs Emily Jones to you, dear!'
I saw her eyes widening like the sky before I shut the office door on her face, ready to face the embarrassment and rejection of my life. But that was all worth my long-time friendship with him which turned my life to a whole different level!